Wisdom Diaries: I am not willing to settle

Justine Leveille

The Wisdom Diaries are posted monthly by Justine Leveille.  Justine is a 24-year-old  who loves to learn, exercise in any and every way, travel, eat great food, cook, teach children, read, dance, watch movies, and be social!  Her sole purpose is to live life to the fullest measure, to serve God and bring Him glory. She has a huge heart to share the love of Jesus with others and she invites young women to grow a passion for Christ along with her.

Dear Jesus,

As I sit on my bed, I am trying to sort through so many truths You keep revealing to me about trusting you.

Recently You took me on the ride of a lifetime, giving me a grander view of life with You. It is far beyond where I have been.  You pierced my soul with a deep conviction that has been steering my days ever since.

Now I realize how often I settle into living a “practical faith.”  I was reading a new book, Fasting, by Jentezen Franklin, when Your Holy Spirit gently opened my eyes to the lack of faith, hope, and trust I have in You.

As I read Your Word You showed me just how radical the faith of Your saints was.  I began to hunger for the same.

If only I had just one-sixteenth of a mustard seed of their kind of faith! The truth is I have really struggled internally with trusting You when I pray. 

I think I have lacked the faith to really believe in Your desire to answer my prayers.

Regardless of what I pray, I always thought You would answer and work out the details of my life as You choose anyway.

But now Your Holy Spirit is revealing to me just how powerful prayer is.   On this journey of choosing to trust You more I have discovered many of my friends struggle with the same thing.  They are faced with the same decision:  “Will I Trust in You through thick and thin, or will I choose fear, doubt, and worry? Elisabeth Elliot wrote some great words in this regard:

 “But that’s what faith is–the unwillingness to be limited to what we can see and the willingness to believe that there’s a reality deeper than the seeing world that we participate in every day.”

I want to continually strengthen my faith. I need to TRUST in the power of You and in the power of prayer.  I thank You Jesus, that You led me to practice trusting You through a new commitment to spend time praying and fasting.

At first I did not exactly know how it would happen, nor what would happen as a result.  You tested my patience and obedience to set apart time to pray, to fast from food and seek Your sustenance in its place.

“It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”  Matthew 4:4

It was not easy; in fact it was painful at first. 

In completing this discipline you taught me so much about how to trust You.

You called me to trust in you as my emotions were shaky,

when my tummy was grumbling

and when things at work were challenging.

Today I testify, whatever hardship facing me, as I trust in You all things are possible.

 There is a great temptation to be defeated and give up when going through life’s hardships. I think it is equally tempting to just settle into living a life that is not Your best design for us.

I want to always, Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding.  In all my ways submit to Him and He will make my path straight,  Proverbs 3:5,6

Jesus, I believe in the authentic Christian life You require your people to take heart and boldly TRUST You by advancing forward — straight through the difficult situations.  It is painful to face hardships head on, yet I must rely on Your Holy Spirit’s guidance. Help me to remember I am not alone. Lord, I am TRUSTING that You will be faithful to lead me through.

 John 12: 27-28 “Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? Father save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.  Father glorify your name…”

My encouragement to you, friend:

When doubt creeps in– kill it. Crucify it.  Crush it with faith and hope and trust in our Master.  Begin to:

  • Pray boldly & specifically
  • Pray without ceasing (1 Thess. 5:17)
  • Pray with an undivided heart which trusts in the Lord



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