Yes, that was my son who burped during Church

Yes, that was my son who burped during church.

Believe me; I am very conscientious about not disturbing those around us.  We sit on the edge of the aisle, sandwiching our boy with special needs strategically in between us.  We bring gummies and writing utensils to help him make it quietly through the long service.

But there is only so much a mom can do.  Knowing when he will burp or if he will cover his mouth is one of those things out of my control.

The great thing about it was no one turned around to glare at us.

What a gift, for a special needs family to be able to attend church without being inhibited by the stares of people.  Every mom should be given the opportunity to figure out their mothering, without a disapproving audience.

My heart often goes out to the mom in the grocery store who has her hands full of little ones and the need to get her shopping done.  Every one of us can tell the story of our kids losing control in such a situation.

We are doing our best, we prepare strategies to help our kids manage the store outing, and then one of the kids loses it.  I watched it happen today.

It wasn’t her fault.  She was checking out of the store while her little girls still had it all together.  But the cashier was in training, moving terribly slowly and finally giving Mom the wrong change.

The rest of us in line were losing our patience, and so were those little ones.

Spontaneous combustion!  The girls began taunting each other, pulling on Mom’s leg, and Mom began to quietly lose her cool.

I looked for the opportunity to give her a smile.  I wanted her to know it is okay.

The problem for young moms is this, they all know everyone is watching-and judging-when their kids fall apart.  Do we really think we are helping her when we glare?

You know the feeling; your face becomes hot with embarrassment.  The more you try to control your kids in front of everyone, the worse it gets.

Sometimes we witness parents losing their cool because they are reacting to the pressure they perceive from others when the kids are falling apart.

Sister, what if we gave each other a break?  What if we graciously considered this mom really is doing the best she can?

What if we considered the unknown situations that have factored into this mommy drama?

For instance, her child has an ear infection and won’t stop crying, but she needs to get to the store for milk and necessities.  Most of us have been there and could have used some support ourselves.

Just as the mom began to feel the stress of moving out of my way in line, I reached out to pat her back.  I said, “You are doing fine.  Don’t worry about me.”

She gave me a sigh and a little smile.

I hope one more Mom can shut out the noise of the disapproving crowd.

Walk tall my sister.  Keep trying your best at this mothering thing.

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Comments

  1. Heidi White says:

    Love this so! When I see a Mama struggling, I try to help if I can, ( make silly faces to distract a fussy one) or smile and say something like ‘aren’t you glad you aren’t a working mother!’ and follow up with a ‘ hang in there Mama!’ They are in the trenches, I want to be a help, I may not always, but want to be.
    Thanks Bonnie!

  2. Michelle Weeks says:

    Well written and I whole-heartedly agree with your post. I couldn’t believe some the things strangers would say to my already stressed-out sister when she was dealing with a meltdown of her autistic son when he was younger. May we be encouraging to those in need.

    • Heidi and Michelle, autism as well as other “invisible disabilities” are one of the many things mom’s are juggling when they go out and about. These mama’s would feel less isolated if we had a strong bent toward encouragement! Thanks for joining the discussion.

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